February 2010
70 posts
Every time @FunnyOneLiners RT's me I just have to...
If you ever go to Thailand here are some helpful...
jorshuwah:
“I did not mean to have sex with your wife” ฉัน ไม่ ได้ หมาย ถึง การ มี เพศ สัมพันธ์ กับ ภรรยา ของ คุณ. “In a way it’s kind of a compliment. You should be thanking me.” ใน ทาง เป็น ประเภท อวยพร. คุณ ควร ขอบคุณ ฉัน.
Because Jorsh is awesome, you should ALL follow him.
January 2010
84 posts
I'm watching Duck Soup for the first time.
Why oh why did I wait so long?!
The Mystery of Accidental Unfollow
Somehow, tumblr is unfollowing me from people I like to follow. I will realize that I don’t follow them when I click on a reblog notification.
Anybody know what’s going on?
Still sick
Ask me stuff. Please. I’m so bored.
29. French Fries
365-things:
Being the oldest, it much responsibility fell on my shoulders as a child. Just one such responsibility was to hold the bevy of soft drinks that would come teetering though the window, to my mother’s hands, and into mine, each time we went and got fast food. The cup holders were usually little more than lightly compressed paper-mulch, and so it took exquisite acrobatics to keep a...
1 tag
girlvanized:
No matter how many times I say, “I’m on the guestlist,” I feel like a fraud every single time. Like the bouncer is going to look at me and say, yeah, my name’s on there but I’m not pretty enough or thin enough or cool enough to get in. I don’t think anyone ever really feels fully validated.
Dude, yes. I always feel like people think: oh look at that guy, he thinks he’s...
Wow
I believe Jason and Beth just won the internet.
Look Hulu...
…just because I’m alone watching a Corrinne Baily Rae performance at 10:30 at night whilst drinking mint tea you think I want to see an advertisement about NUVA RING?!
You know me so well.
If you must know Gdub,
paulewogblog:
she was complaining about having to use a PC for work. So of course I had to act like I was a robot who was sexually attracted to the very PC she was using.
That makes girls jealous, right?
Damn skippy! And it also makes them treat that PC much nicer.
3 tags
Butt-dialed as I sit at home sick. The voicemail...
I'm getting old.
Me: Any time this weekend, just let me know. ESPECIALLY Friday; visitors are coming into town I don't exactly want to see.
Her: Why not? Who are they?
Me: A friend of the family I haven't seen him in like 8 years, and never got along with him. I just don't really want to be around the hullabaloo. Also, I just used the word "Hullabaloo" so, yeah I'm old.
Her: Stop getting old!
Me: I know, but how?!
Her: Stop using words like Hulaboo! Haha.
Me: Oh man, that's a toughie. I will try. What about "tizzy" or "catawampus"? Those okay?
Her: Ew! Heck no!
Me: I'm gunna have a hard time ha ha.
I JUST STARRED ALL OF LUCKYSHIRT'S TWEETS
dielaughing:
I hope that’s a new meme.
Ditto-age.
I want to create my own board game.
Thing is, I could publish it as a PDF, but then you’d have to print it out to play it. It’d be MUCH cooler to do it online.
Any ideas?
“But even after all the hard work, the calls and emails still come in and you...”
– Jeph - Down the Avenue
I can definitely empathize with this. I work in a pretty hostile environment where every second I’ve got to watch my back, and no matter what I accomplish, the expectations are set unachievabley high.
An explanation
Years ago I had an experience that changed my decision-making process forever. During a hot summer day, my family was taking refuge from the stifling heat at a small park by a lake. Skipping across the stones scattered through the creek that ran from the foothills that fed the lake, I took a moment to look at the sky.
I remember how remarkably clear it was, even for the desert we lived in. Then,...
illustratedexample asked: RE: Pizza
Dip it in some ranch dressing (add a lil hot sauce to the ranch for a lil something extra)
deep fry it
get high (or get someone else high) and come up with/have them come up with crazy things to do with it.
Dip it in some ranch dressing (add a lil hot sauce to the ranch for a lil something extra)
deep fry it
get high (or get someone else high) and come up with/have them come up with crazy things to do with it.
Help!
So I ordered a huge pizza but fear it’s too boring. Please suggest ways to make it more interesting. Thanks.
A slow moment at work, so please ask me questions →
Acid Reflux can Suck it.
redcloud:
idrvfast:
sarkastickunt:
I wake up every morning with a sore throat. It feels like there is something stuck there. Nothing makes it go away. I have to drink water. A lot of it, because the burning is too intense. I burp like a trucker. It’s disgusting. I will eat Tums, all day. The chalky aftertaste makes me even more desirable to kiss should the person be able to get past me...
In A Car, I Strike Up A Conversation
Me: So, Casey, what've you been up to lately?
Casey: Oh, not a lot; I've been designing clothes. Been trying to get a good full line going.
Me: Really? I remember seeing some of the dresses you made.
Casey: Oh yea, you have, haven't you?
Me: They were nice.
Casey: Thanks. Lately I've really been into this thing called Steam Punk.
Me: (Immense and uncontrollable laughter)
Casey: What?!
Me: (continued laughter) So...do those...brass pipes...run up the prices a lot?
davio1962 asked: Your 365-thingie is a wonderful exercise. And a lot of fun to view. I'll even cut you some slack here--I will accept anywhere from 360-364 if you must...
“I know your modis operandi is to hang out with girls in a feeble attempt to...”
– Me
In reference to @lil_bubba_joe’s proposition to go see Leap Year with some female friends.
