July 2009
269 posts
Eff you internet!
No DVD’s or episodes online of old Road Rules? I NEED THESE TO HELP FILL MY NOSTALGIA VOID.
WatchNew episode of that video mcshow thing me and my buddies do.
http://3guys3questions.com for more stuff.
June 2009
51 posts
Where do we go from here?
Tossing and turning in my fve hundred degree room, I violently attacked my mattress. It fough back by taking it’s agression out on the bedframe. The bedframe wasa sissy and broke. So what do I do? Do I try and fix the bed? Do I construct a new bed out of milk crates? A whole world of possibilities lies before me. Give me some ideas!
Divorce: My own special stigmataetty →
(via girlmonkey)
Pretty much excellent in every way.
I think most writers tend to steer away from addressing the negativity of such situations for the purpose of ease. Good job.
E-High Five!
Thing in my throat.
asav:
There is a thing is my throat. I think it might be a beetle. A beetle the size of a beach ball. If beach balls where the size of trucks. I think I am going to name my new beetle friend.
May I suggestd Floyed Flemming?
On being the jester
Her: That hug should’ve been more seductive.
Me: I feel like I need a demonstration.
Her: (laughing)
Me: I’m serious
Her: (more laughing)
“And I’m probably not going to follow your second account that looks like more of...”
– Young Henry Fonda
A-Freaking-Men!
I noticed today that half the folks I’m following back are constantly spewing anger and talking about the fat guy in line. Okay, you use Twitter as an outlet for your anger issues. Fine. But, I don’t want to be involved.
Good times
Remember when we used to stay up all night until early in the morning discussing the pros and cons of Bon Jovi, “making it official”, bad dates, and the sundry races of the Star Wars universe while we drank gatorade and ate various Hostess snack products? Man, last night was fun.
“I just got on my friend’s computer and the phrase that he last searched for on...”
– Modern Savage:
Well, the last search is now, “free online english lessons for my friend”.
This is why I don't tell you things.
Setting - I'm leaving the house as my mom, sister, and brother-in-law, visit with an old family friend in the living room.
Mom: So what are your plans for the day?
Me: I'm gunna' go to Joe's and hang out with him for a bit, then I've got a date later on.
Mom: Oooooooh, with who?
Me: April.
Mom: Oh, so you're branching out, huh?
Me: What is that even supposed to mean?
Sister: Hey, I have an idea, why don't we awkwardly discuss Aaron's love life in front of our guests.
Me: What's most awkward is that I don't even have one.
How I know it's late.
I posted a picture of a tree frog.
I did a dance when Pocket Contents liked said post.
I posted about this.
BED MUST HAPPEN.
WatchFor those unaware, I do a video series with a couple friends. We think it’s worth the time and have fun doing it.
This last episode got nearly NO views. Check it out?
www.3guys3questions.com
I feel so relieved.
Seriously you guys.
It’s because I pee’ed.
It’d been awhile.
So that made a difference I think.
“Those who said Paul McCartney would only regain the rights to the Beatles...”
–
From a TMZ article posted Jan 4th 2009
The crux
Thanks to all you awesome folks who gave me such positive feedback about my song. I really appreciate that something good came outta’ my insomnia. The thing is, you’ve raised my tumblarity and now I’m so scared to let it fall. This is some freaing pandora’s box you’ve opened.
My submission for the Talent Show. I hope...
“AS I’VE MENTIONED BEFORE, Any fantasy baseballist has more in common with...”
– John Hodgman (via merlin)
I’ve always felt this way.
If I don't have a coronary I'll be heartily...
Food Network always makes me hungry, but I don’t have effin’ pancietta or shallots in my kitchen. I’ve got hot dogs, leaftover meatloaf, and otter pops. Thus, I keep eating to satisfy my food lust, but I don’t feel satiated. Food Network is the reason I am fat.
It's days like today...
…that make me wish I could replace my nasal system with a simple stainless steel system run by tiny elves whose only wish and desire is to keep the system clean. Somebody get me a friggun’ magic lamp, okay?
2 tags
It's A Fossilization Joke
@The_Real_Emily: here come the popcorn and sappy movie. lame. lame. lame. oh well, I’ll make up for by playing some hockey.
@TheInfamousGdub: Or you could invite me over and it will make up the difference.
@The_Real_Emily: lol. are you’re man enough to take my sappiness away?
@TheInfamousGdub: Actualy, I will simply absorb all the sappiness and crap out amber. You...
What is the problem here?
Me: What is wrong with everybody?
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It seems like everyone has lost their mind.
Her: What makes you say that?
Me: Well it would appear that every single girl I know has, in unison, completely dropped their standards.
Her: And that troubles you how?
Me: It troubles me because it hasn't helped me at all.
Her: No?
Me: No. Not one bit. I always operated under the assumption that I was either too ugly, or too poor, or to stupid...well, okay, not too stupid. I assumed *that* was the reason women were so repelled by me.
Her: That's why I am.
Me: Hilarious. Really.
Her: Okay, honestly Aaron, do you really want me to tell you?
Me: Yes! Seriously. Tell me.
Her: Alright, you can't be mad at me 'cause you asked for it.
Have you ever considered that you're not funny enough?
Me: Here I thought we were going to have a serious conversation...
Her: I *am* serious.
Me: Of all the conceivable reasons, you pick that? Not my narcissism, my morbidly obese frame, the fact that I still live with my mother, my overall lack of success, or clinical strength bad breath?
Her: Your breath is pretty bad.
Me: That was a joke.
Her: See what I mean?
@A_Sav: Yeah. Joe was telling me that every time he goes on vacation everyone hooks up when he leaves.
@TheInfamousGdub: Oooh man. Maybe this is our time man!
OUR TIME!
OUR TIME DOWN HERE
(in hell)
An Idea
If I were wealthy I would buy hundreds of wallets, place $20 in each, and then drop them at random across the world, complete with included means of tracking said wallet back to me. Those that try to return the wallet are chosen to go on a cruise with me, except they don’t know that this cruise will take us to Hawaii, which I bought, and there we will create our own utopia of awesome people.