December 2009
185 posts
“Enjoy the diabetes.”
– The Peach Cobbler I Just Ate
November 2009
99 posts
I made fresh squeezed orange juice and it was...
rinaedin:
My arm is tired.
And now we are making banana bread.
Who wants to come over?
What sort of wonderland are you in?!
1 tag
1 tag
Table Arrangement
Sister: I like it this way; it looks nice.
Me: I don't like it.
Sister: Gosh, what now? It's FINE!
Me: This Poinsettia's in the way. If somebody were sitting on the other side I couldn't see them.
Sister: So?
Me: They could be brandishing a weapon and I couldn't even see!
Ceramic Santa
Me: Man, that Santa does not look right.
Sister: I like it!
Me: It's horrendous.
Sister: I'm used to living with horrendous things...
Me: Like your husband?
Sister: ...like you...ugh.
You RAISED Me?!
Me: Do we have any more white lights?
Mom: There are some colored lights over here.
Me: Mom! They're African-American lights, OKAY?!
We're setting up Christmas
AND IT’S AWESOME!
Aw, shit. I think I may have a big head. The hood...
aimee-b-loved:
rsmallbone:
(via aimee-b-loved)
Whatever you say, Bighead.
UNFOLLOW. Jerkface.
Now I know how Mike felt.
*sad trombone*
Not to be Mr. Toldyaso,
but…I warned you that some day all that book-learnin’ would come back and bite you in the fanny. But it’s okay. Because, like your neck, I will struggle to support your big head.
reblog with the word 'turkey' substituting a word...
scottfriday:
andrewvache:
masoncommadaniel:
louischatburn:
mycrookedheart:
hileasa:
jerryeffinpierce:
jessskidding:
disappearinglifeline:
i’ll start turkey starship
all time turkey
turkeyemerge
turkey shout never
death cab for turkey
wet wet turkey
Turkey Loves Derby? haha idk.
Forever The Sickest Turkey/Forever The Turkiest Kids?
OH. NO. BONE THUGS N TURKEY.
i...
This Dog Show...
Somehow it’s not surprizing that at least three time’s I’ve replied to a question from my mom with the following answer:
“Probably the French; buncha’ queers.”
1 tag
It's a Steaky Thanksgiving This Year
This year it’s just gunna’ be me, my mom, and my brother for Thanksgiving. We usually have a big dinner with lots of people, but this year it ended up in this little triumvirate. I’m not complaining. And despite rhetorical questions being cheap literary devices I’m gunna’ use one anyway. You know why this small dinner is awesome? Because we’re grilling delicious...
I'm drinking hot cocoa through a (twizzlers) straw
paulewogblog:
in the hopes that someday a girl will find it quirky-cute that I’m slowly killing myself with sweets.
Diabetes is pretty endearing.
WatchMy Nephew loves the magnetic Macbook power cords. He’s obsessed with unplugging and plugging them in.
Yesterday my Mom told me that no one makes her...
yowhatsthehaps:
So I guess that means I have one true fan.
I think that’s pretty great.
Wow, it must be pretty sweet to have a mom that laughs at your jokes. Mine just makes fun of me.
1 tag
Humor hard.
coyotesqrl:
The other day I read a post - a secret Tumblr, I guess - on my dashboard complaining that someone was trying too hard to be funny. I don’t recall who it was or I’d link to it; I’m not trying to be passive-aggressive here.
I doubt the post was directed at me, but people have expressed that sentiment to me before in life and I thought I’d respond because a wronger sentiment would be...
PS
jaydensmommie:
This really cute boy told me he loved me tonight. I won’t get all whatever and tell you how happy it made me, but I’m posting it to tumblr, so it was kind of awesome. And he told me he likes to sleep with me and that he loves to do that more than like anything else. And we drove all over the place and never even got sick of each other. I think I’m gonna try and keep him.
OK FINE...
Xanax?
piscesinpurple:
I wish.
Somebody remind me to call my shrink tomorrow and browbeat him into giving me a real prescription already.
MEANWHILE. I take Benadryl. LOTS of Benadryl. Tonight I had 16. And please for the love of all that is sacred and holy, do not flip out on me about that, internet. I am as alert as a rabbit on Ritalin. Also, I had my liver function checked out recently and it is,...
Are you gonna eat that?
(via terrybain)
No because it’s a stupid picture on my computer and not a real legitimate cookie or caramel apple cider in my actual hands and I hate being on tumblr when I’m hungry.
I had an idea
I’ve wanted to start a blog for some times called:
The Funny Stuff from SNL.
I think maybe making a group blog on tumblr would work for this. Basically, we’d post the sketches that were actually funny, and leave out the filler. What do you think?
Hey Guys
I heard there was a fat face around here.
That’s a type of sandwich right?
secret tumblr message
rinaedin:
(hint: invisible ink)
IT’S ALL LIES! This is all I found:
<div class="text"> <h3>secret tumblr message</h3> <p><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/></p> <p>(hint: invisible ink)</p> </div>
Wow
I never knew how many of you I wasn’t following on here.
I feel like I discovered toilet paper for the first time and everyone was like, “you never knew about that?!”
